HOLY SMOKES... It's almost Christmas!

Wow! I can't believe that Christmas is just a couple of days away and that New Years is right around the corner... pretty soon it will be 2006!
This year seems like it has just flown by... and with it came a lot of first. My first plane ride... my first time abroad... my first time being so far away by myself... the first time I am using or leaning Korean... and so much more. This year has definately had its ups and downs... but unlike any other time before I feel that I am equipped with both the emotional and mental maturity needed to get through them. That being said... I am still a bits away from having total tranquility.
This week was a tad tough for me... a girl that I had thought was my friend here at the Village decided to inform me that she wasn't and was never my friend and that she was only pretending so that she could be friends with Paula. She said some really hurtful things... that I was a racist... that I hated all Americans... and for a while... well even now it stings. Needless to say in true Chelsea form I cried... and cried.... but once I had finished I came to realize that... well instead of feeling sorry for myself, I should really feel sorry for her. That she would have to only pretend to be someone's friend because she was too insecure to feel that Paula would have a friendship outside of mine... that she has such a huge chip on her shoulder that she would want to hurt someone so that they could be lowered in the process. My dad said something to me that rings true... "You can't always change yourself to fit so that others will like you... if you do.. you will be nothing but a camelion... and will in turn lose yourself and your idfentity to the expectations of others". Part of me is still wounded by the hurtful and downright cruel things that were said to me... but another part... in a twisted way feels relieved... at least I know now that she doesn't like me and is no longer pretending. It is still tough to know that someone can feel so negatively about me... but that is something I will have to come to grips with... because.. well not everyone will like me... and that's ok... it doesn't lower or devalue me in anyway!
On a brighter side... the kids are just so cute... and they really say the darndest things. For example... in hospital class last week we were taching the kids about "pink eye"... to help them remember the name I pointed to my boots and said "what color are these"... and they said "pink"... I then pointed to my eye and said "and what is this"... this is when a little boy stood up and said with the greatest confidence... "dark circles!" I just burst out laughing... the truth comes out from the mouth of babes right (or something like that).
So last weekend was a lot of fun! Paula, Hana and I went to Co-Ex mall to go shopping for our secret santas. In the process we stumbled upon a Japanese bra and panty store (for those of you who don't know... Korean sizes in bras are too small - they go to about a size B36ish - but Japanese stores go to a size E) so needless to say I was elated to know that I could buy bras. When we went into the shop we were greated by a little korean lady with a measuring tape... she came over and said "size?" to which I said that I wasn't sure. She then lifted my arms and measured me. She then said that she had "my size" and pulled me over to look at the sale rack of bra and panty sets. When I found one that I liked.. I went into the dressing room to try it on.. I had just put on the bra when suddenly I looked back and saw that she was right there beside me... she then said "no good" stuck her hand into the bra and proceeded to shift me around so that it would fit. I wasn't sure how to feel... I was flabbergasted... I mean this ajuma had just stuck her hand into my bra... oh I know that it wasn't anything dirty.. it just caught me off guard is all. Though I did end up leaving the store with 2 new sets.
Overall this week has had it's highs and lows... but in all honesty I am doing just fine... I have some things happening right now which are good... have a great job... and am growing mentally and emotionally.
2005 overall has been a great year... here's to 2006!
Cheers!

I wish I could vote!

So I sent home my christmas presents today... fingers crossed that they will get home before the actual day.. but it is the thought that counts right?!?
The Canadian Embassy emailed me today... asking that I apply for an "out-of-country" ballot... and I would really like to vote... if only to help keep the Conservatives out of power for another term... but I can't seem to understand what I am supposed to do. OYE! You would think that they would make it somewhat easy... I mean really they want the ex-pat turnout.. but how can we... if it takes a law degree to decifer the pages and pages of instructions... I think I'll ask my mom for her help... otherwise.. I may take a friendly journey over to the embassy and see if I can do anything in person. I mean the Conservatuves almost tok over by a slim margin... if even my vote can sway that... well I am all over that like white on rice.
Things are a lot better at the Village. I think I am coming to see Christmas as really only a day... and well... that is helping with the homesickness... that and keeping myself busy.
So something was said about me... we live in a fishbowl.. so nothing stays quiet for long... and well... it was said that I am a gossip. At first... well even now it is tough medicine to swallow... but I have come to realize that even though I wasn't doing it out of malice or spite... well enjoyed the watercooler conversations a little too much. So I have decided that until I have something to say... that can contribute to the conversation and not be seen as blabbing... well I am trying to stay quiet. Though some people have taken my silence as anger or upset... and often question Paula and DeVika if I am sad or depressed... it is interesting in what you are able to hear and see if you are quiet enough to just look and listen. I know that that may sound trite... but... well I am just stepping back and letting the sharks peck at each other... stepping back is mentally and emotionally a good idea for me. Though I think that I will have to learn to not project anger, depression or sadness through my silence... I am strickly observing "if you don't have anything nice to say... don't say anything at all!"
Next week our roles at the Village change.. and this time... for real.. I am going to be teaching HipHop... we (Daisy and I) are going to be doing a Christmas themed HipHop class.. so it should be fun... especially since I am losing weight like there is no tomorrow... so being active will assist in that.
That's really it on my end.
Happy Holidays!

Yes I cried in Costco

So this weekend was long overdue. It will be nice to have the overtime of working last weekend on my paycheck.... but otherwise... well it really sucked.
So we are now preparing for the birthday of the Village (Dec 7). To commemorate this occasion, rooms on the South Wing 4th floor have been set up to showcase the home countries of the foreign teachers. It was my job to create a poster representing Canada and to decorate this room. Though I have been really happy to have the extra work.... well this project has made me really homesick. Enter Costco... this weekend, Paula and I joined Costco (for only 35$ a year we can get access to some of the foods from home... well that is a deal). Anyone who knows me knoes that I feel ooberly uncomfortable in big box stores (totally afraid of getting lost)... so heightened with the fact that I was/am homesick.. well it was a little recipe for disaster... or so I thought. We walked into Costco... and I literally started crying... I was really overwhelmed... because it looked, sounded and even smelt like the Costco back home. The pizza at the food court even tasted the same. It didn't even bother me that people were staring at me... more than usual... I was... well you never know what you have until it is gone... and it made me really appreciate and miss the trips to Costco I used to take back home with my Dad.
Overall I think this is going to be a tough week cause I am ooberly emotional... missing the little things that I once took for granted when I was Canada... like Crunchy Bars and Tim Hortons Hot Chocolate.
The first snowfall happened this weekend as well. It is really pretty now... all white and fresh. It has been a tad funny though... since many of the other foreign teachers (mainly South Africans) have never seen snow before. The joy and excitement on their faces... well it is like a kid in a candy store... all wide eyed and curious.
I saw Harry Potter this weekend as well... it was really dark... but good.
I guess that is all on my end... nothing much to report.... just snow... the Canadian Pavillion and homesickness.
20 days til christmas!
Cheers!
Chelsea