Just breathe

So this weekend was a little stressful to say the least. I know that I had to make a decision... I know it was a "shit or get off the pot" moment... but... in true Chelsea form I am completely second guessing myself. I mean in less than 25 days I am going to be homeless.
I have 2 job interviews already lined up... so I know that I shouldn't really be panicking... but I am.
I am so caught up right now in my own stuff... sometimes it is hard to deal with other people's insecurities. So I am trying to lay low. I am just afraid that out of my own frustration I am going to say or do something that I will completely regret! and we all know that Karma can be a real bitch!
The hagwon keeps bothering me to stay until October 1. Truth be told... I DON'T WANT TO! I really want the entire situation to just be over and done with. Things at the school are tense... to say the least anyways... some of the teachers feel that I am abandoning BCM and have made their pov known. Well alls I can say is... don't judge unless you've walked in my shoes!
I was really considering just packing up and heading home... totally with my tail between my legs... but there is something to say about the comforts of home... especially in a really sucky situation. My parents though talked me out of it. I know that I made a year long commitment... I am just afraid of going out of the frying pan and landing directly into the fire! So needless to say I am treading very carefully!
I am surprised at the support fellow ex-pats provide each other. People I barely even know are giving me job contacts... and well... it's always good to know about schools through testimonials.
This weekend was alright... nothing major to report. Just went to Itaewon... saw a Korean horror movie (A Wig) and spent a lot time at the PC Bang job searching. I also saw a fortune teller... though I took what he told me with a grain of salt... it was interesting to hear his take on my future... esp now. According to him, I am going to marry at 28 and have a son at 29... this year will be bad emtionally, economically and health wise... but come 2006 it is all sunshine and lollipops (20 years of goodness). Like I said I took it with a grain of salt... but it was fun all the same.
A couple of people have offered their couches... if I don't find anything in time... and I know that the Hostel is reasonable... so I should stop worrying about the whole job issue.
I know in my heart that once a door closes a window opens.... but I am having a hard time seeing the light amongst all this fog.